Your Aging Parents Have their Goals and Dreams Too

Your Aging Parents Have their Goals and Dreams Too?

Remember the words of the wise that says, your old men shall dream dreams, your young men shall see visions?

Have your aging parents or elderly grandparents lost their vision and dreams? This is the time to step up and help them decide to live a full life, not a life that is wasting away. Step up and gently remind your aging parents that you love them and you want the best for them.

Questions that you can start with:

How would your next five years look like?

What would you do if you are not able to drive?

Where would you like to live in the next five years?

What does an ideal day look like for you?

If money is not a hindrance, what would you like to do in the next five years?

Our aging parents and grandparents have been through the seasons of life and sometimes they have forgotten to look after their own needs. Their home environment may be neglected or they have never gone for a vacation for a long time. Some are so restricted in their movement and they may even be housebound most of the days in a week.

Do you know what their dreams and goals are?

They may have dreamt about taking that Alaskan cruise all their lives but never took the time or money to go on one. They might still have that depression era mentality where every penny counts and they have never gone on a vacation overseas or out of state!

Can you imagine living a life sacrificing for their children and putting their dreams on hold? Now that they are aging….they feel insecure and unsure of how to book a vacation of their dream.

Maybe they need you to accompany them to a destination of their dreams…Hawaii or Paris. If you don’t ask questions and have a heart to heart conversation with them…you will never find out.

Many times I hear stories of how someone said, my mom wants to go to London all her life but since my dad died…she never picked up the courage to go. She did not live the life of her dreams even when she had the money to pay for the trip.

Conversations about their goals and dreams can help shed regrets they may have to live when they are totally homebound. Have you heard of elderly parents that talk about their trips if there is someone who will listen to them? Those fun trips and memories bring smiles in their eyes when they tell stories about them.

Have you seen your aging parents eyes light up lately?

What are they thinking?

Are they living the life of their dreams?

You can help make it happen for them as they enter into the aging stage of their lives. By giving them suggestions, helping them plan the trip of their dreams or just lending them a hand for the things that need to be done in the home.

When you take time to listen, you will gain more knowledge about life and know your aging parents even more…it helps in bonding with each other.

After all, their years on earth are limited as you may be imagining right now. The unexpected happens really quickly in life.

Take the time now to act on it…at the same time we, at Keeping in Touch Solutions, will help you in the other needs that your aging parents may have. That is to have someone who will personally stay in touch with them everyday…to ensure they are safe and that they take their daily medication.

We are here to help you. Please let us know yow we can help by dropping us a line at keepingintouchsolutions@gmail.com

Diana and HopeDiana Beam is an entrepreneur with a vision and a heart for the elderly. She has more than 30 years of experience as a teacher, long term care administrator, home health care pioneer, senior real estate specialist and owner of Keeping in Touch Solutions. Her passion is to see working women and men with elderly parents set free from guilt of not having time or proximity to their aging parents and helping the elderly with their aging needs and transition challenges. Diana lives in Indiana with her husband Ron and they have 3 grown children, 2 grandsons and a golden retriever named Hope and a calico cat named Ms Dottie. Grab her free report, 7 ways to provide maximum support to your parents, today. If you’d like to learn more about Diana and how she helps elderly clients through Keeping in Touch Solutions, check out her website at www.keepingintouchsolutions.com.

 

No Comments

Diana, August 29th 2011 | Tags: , , ,
Posted in Aging Parents and Money Matters

Look! Ramen eating Grandma was pushed off the cliff….

How often have you heard someone talking about the future of our seniors citizen and end up saying “Well, we’ll just let the government take care of them”? You all saw that disgusting ad about pushing Granny off the cliff!

Yes, there is uncertainty and fear but that was a bit too much! Yes, there are families out there who don’t give a darn about their aging parents, but for every one of those slackers out there, there are hundreds of loving and generous caregivers who go to the wall for their aging parents and neighbors every day of the week.

…But despite all the years of hard work and planning there are some elderly who just can’t do it alone. Our role is to educate and help give support.

According to the National Council of Aging Report in January, less than 10% of the nation’s 38 million elderly people are living in poverty. But once medical care and other costs of living are factored in, the number of people aged 65+ living in poverty jumps to 16%.

With all the upheaval and regulatory explosions, more and more of our elderly and frail elderly will be affected financially and the numbers will increase accordingly.

Could it be that Grandma and her college-aged Grandchildren will both be eating ramen noodles every day? Will we see our elderly and seniors sitting around wrapped in blankets because utility costs have skyrocketed?

Remember, Grandma’s generation carried the filled coal bucket into the house when it was wintery cold and stoked the stove to heat the house. Adapting was a part of Grandma’s life.

It may be taboo to talk about money, but as Betty White said with the AARP ad “GET OVER IT,”

These are tough times and we can’t help our aging loved ones if we don’t know their real story! For most families this is a very emotional subject and parents often say it isn’t our business BUT press forward we must.

Remember, Grandma and Grandpa understand the great depression. They lived it!

In the last few weeks, the elderly have seen their investments get smaller and smaller. Their nest egg may have cracked. Their money is buying less and prices are heading up. Hardest hit with increases: food, utility bills, medical cost – all vital to the aging seniors. So, now may be the time to start a serious and intellectual discussion about money and the future.

For some, it is easier to start the conversation with your aging parent with a preset list of questions. For others, observing will tell the story. Such as, are there past due bills thrown about, have there been disconnects, is the furnace or air conditioning being rationed, is there food in the refrigerator, is housekeeping slipping fast and safety a concern, are appointments being missed? It is much easier to have the conversation while the aging loved one is able to make reasonable decisions.

To start the conversation, think about the following:

 

  • Investments- stocks, bonds, real estate holdings, jewelry, precious gems, art and antiques.

What is the value and where are these assets…..who manages the names, address and phone numbers.

  • Are the items in the investment portfolio secure and who can make changes….does a family member’s name need to be added?
  • This is the most difficult! What is the current status with all liabilities, debts, financial obligations, and banking accounts? What is the income to debt ratio? Is there a rainy day fund?
  • What are monthly costs for food, housing, taxes, medical needs (including prescription drugs), utility costs, maintenance and upkeep?

Who do they turn to for money questions and legal advice? Who does Grandma go to for emergencies? Tough questions to ask a person you love so much.

Approach your elderly parents and grandparents with care and compassion. What is worse than asking is not asking until they are unable to make a decision or they pass away without you understanding anything about their finances? JUST do it now…start the conversation.

The unexpected is ever present!

Diana and HopeDiana Beam is an entrepreneur with a vision and a heart for the elderly. She has more than 30 years of experience as a teacher, long term care administrator, home health care pioneer, senior real estate specialist and owner of Keeping in Touch Solutions. Her passion is to see working women and men with elderly parents set free from guilt of not having time or proximity to their aging parents and helping the elderly with their aging needs and transition challenges. Diana lives in Indiana with her husband Ron and they have 3 grown children, 2 grandsons and a golden retriever named Hope and a calico cat named Ms Dottie. Grab her free report, 7 ways to provide maximum support to your parents, today. If you’d like to learn more about Diana and how she helps elderly clients through Keeping in Touch Solutions, check out her website at www.keepingintouchsolutions.com.

 

1 Comment

Diana, August 15th 2011 | Tags: , , , , ,
Posted in Aging Parents and Money Matters, Caring for elderly parents, Conversations with your aging parents

Is There a Cost to Taking Care of your Aging Parents?

You feel that internal tug of war!  On one side of you there is your job, your businesses, and your home commitments. The other side of you sees the red flags signs coming from your elderly mom or dad…forgetting things, lonely, can’t drive and constantly missing their supplements and medication.  You feel frustrated and overwhelmed at times.

To top it off, you feel as if you are not doing enough. Plus, you may even need to miss work and your boss is taking note of that…

When you are with your aging parents and elderly family members…you are totally lost – you can’t find their financial or medical documents. How can you help if you can’t see the details of the paper work?

Or you have noticed that mom is completely lost since dad passed away. She has never tried budgeting or writing a check to pay her regular bills.

As you know, taking the time to help your aging parents locate their important documents is the most important of priorities. All important papers and documents should be stored in a central location in a security lock box, that includes all access codes, authorizations and keys in the security box in their home. (If the lockbox is locked attach a note telling where this key is located.)   In times of emergency, those documents must be easily accessible and have proper signatures…..have you ever tried to go to the bank lock box without the key and signature???  Not a pretty picture!

Struggling to care for your aging parents can be costly to you financially as well if you are not able to maintain a job. The MetLife Mature Market Institute and National Alliance for Caregiving study estimates the average cost in lost wages, pensions and social security benefits for women providing care for an aging parent to be a staggering $ 324,044 !  SO making sense of all their paperwork and financial status may be a difficult task for you but something that must be done early on in the process. What if mom knows nothing about it and dad had done it all his life?

I discovered these hard truths 20 years ago while helping a 65 year old Speedway widow with her real estate needs. She had been married to a man with a predictable stable job and her husband took care of all their financial transactions and needs. She had no money sense at all…never handled the family check book and had never managed the investments or their household budget.  After his death she was totally dependent on her out of state children, local banker and stock broker.  She had no idea where to start!

Today 20 years later, there are women in their 70s and 80s who are clueless and confused about handling finances. How about the sandwich generation and caregivers of elderly parents? Where can we start the process?

As a daughter, a sister or granddaughter, if you are here on our blog, it is not an accident. We know from experience you are probably struggling and are probably looking for some help. Let us take the first and most important steps. Knowing what are the baby steps we can take to help ourselves as well as our elderly?

Here is a story from a busy son about his frail and elderly mom who was recently widowed:

“Since my dad passed away, my mom has been showing signs of depression and always forgets about her own needs and medication. I can’t take care of her every need while I have my own job and family to care for.”

We, at Keeping in Touch Solutions, hear lots of stories like this as well as thank you notes like this one from a concerned daughter:

“I am so grateful to have this service. When you called to say you had not been able to reach my mother, I panicked. I called the out of state retirement community where she lives and asked security to check on her. They called back a few minutes later to tell me they found her happily watching her favorite TV program- completely unaware that she had knocked the phone off the hook. Thank you again”.

If you are a working or single mom or busy working dad who may be struggling to the find time to check in with your elderly and aging loved ones every day, where do you go for help? We, at Keeping in Touch Solutions, provide the first step toward peace of mind. We do a daily personal, friendly check in call, on your behalf, to your loved one to be sure they are doing ok and to remind them about taking their medications.

Let us know how this was helpful by placing a comment here. Let us know if you have interest in monthly on line “Taking Baby Steps” seminars starting in the fall?

Diana and HopeDiana Beam is an entrepreneur with a vision and a heart for the elderly. She has more than 30 years of experience as a teacher, long term care administrator, home health care pioneer, senior real estate specialist and owner of Keeping in Touch Solutions. Her passion is to see working women and men with elderly parents set free from guilt of not having time or proximity to their aging parents and helping the elderly with their aging needs and transition challenges. Diana lives in Indiana with her husband Ron and they have 3 grown children, 2 grandsons and a golden retriever named Hope and a calico cat named Ms Dottie. Grab her free report, 7 ways to provide maximum support to your parents, today. If you’d like to learn more about Diana and how she helps elderly clients through Keeping in Touch Solutions, check out her website at www.keepingintouchsolutions.com.

No Comments

Diana, August 8th 2011 | Tags: , , , , ,
Posted in Aging Parents and Money Matters, Caring for elderly parents, Conversations with your aging parents

How to Plan Ahead for the Conversations With Your Aging Parents

None of us grew up thinking that one day we might have to care for our aging parents. Along with our own sets of commitments and responsibilities, many of us (especially between the ages of 35-55) are seeing the need to give a helping hand to our aging parents or grandparents.

How can we find the time and ways to help them while we may be struggling ourselves? It is not easy being a daughter or a son who is being called on to step up and be the parent in the situation – after all, they have parented us for all these years. Plus, we are torn by emotional and financial issues attached to the situation.

The fact of the matter is, not all parents are created equal! Just knowing this can make our planning a bit more effective and less confrontational.
I’m sure you’ve seen them:

  1. Perfect victims- cannot make decisions and always rely on you to help out.
  2. Controllers and manipulators- want to make all decisions and they are always right and you are to listen and do what they want.
  3. The one in between- they are the sweet, caring and cooperating parents who will help themselves and are willing to receive help.

Do you know what type of aging parents you have? Thank heavens most of us are blessed with the “in betweens”. When you know this about your aging parent or relative, it is easier to start the plan and the conversation – always asking the questions “what comes next” or “what is the next step.” Keep thinking forward and moving forward!

One of the many books we reviewed here at Keeping in Touch Solutions was The Parent Care Conversation, by Don Taylor, dealing with conversations that most of us will be forced to face as our loved ones age or fall victim to Alzheimer’s. This is a good read for anyone who is a practicing caregiver.

It isn’t easy for our loved ones to think about losing their independence and freedom. But it isn’t easy being the son or daughter of a frail or ill parent living in another community – just waiting for the other foot to fall!

Starting the conversation ASAP is imperative. This is the first in weekly posts related to “money matters” – since most issues are involved with money!

Is it time for you and your aging parents to sit down and talk about any financial issues – in a non-judgmental way – they are facing at the current time? Are they in debt? Do they have cash all over the house? Do they have a right structure for all their financial portfolio and needs? Where and what are their bank accounts information and investments information? Do they have all legal papers regarding money in one location? Do they have all necessary paperwork signed and documented legally and correctly? Where is it? Can we get everything together and in one place – a box, desk drawer, etc. – and then review?

It is not easy to start such conversations since all along they are the ones who gave you the advice about money. But you can’t help unless you know what they want!

There may be a role switch going on here- which could be very emotional. While in these conversations, it is important to identify in a non-judgmental way which type of aging parents you are conversing with today. However, these are crucial times to ensure smooth moves or transitions for you and your aging parents. Don’t let it be too late.

Plan ahead with your siblings and aging parents to have the money talks. By initiating conversations that consult and partner instead of taking over…we like to call it, coming alongside your aging parents. That will reduce all defenses, intimidations and tensions.

Are you facing this situation right now?

Are you postponing the ‘talk’ with your aging parents?

Are you planning ahead with your aging parents for their needs in the near future?

We would love to hear your stories about how you started the money conversation with your loved one.

We, at “Keeping in Touch Solutions”, are here to serve. Our daily check-in call and medication reminder can brighten the day for your home bound loved one – you’ll feel better, too knowing they have connected with the outside world today.

Leave us your questions and comments. Let us know how we can serve you.

Diana and HopeDiana Beam is an entrepreneur with a vision and a heart for the elderly. She has more than 30 years of experience as a teacher, long term care administrator, home health care pioneer, senior real estate specialist and owner of Keeping in Touch Solutions. Her passion is to see working women and men with elderly parents set free from guilt of not having time or proximity to their aging parents and helping the elderly with their aging needs and transition challenges. Diana lives in Indiana with her husband Ron and they have 3 grown children, 2 grandsons and a golden retriever named Hope and a calico cat named Ms Dottie. Grab her free report, 7 ways to provide maximum support to your parents, today. If you’d like to learn more about Diana and how she helps elderly clients through Keeping in Touch Solutions, check out her website at www.keepingintouchsolutions.com.

No Comments

Diana, August 1st 2011 | Tags: , , , , , ,
Posted in Aging Parents and Money Matters, Conversations with your aging parents



Bad Behavior has blocked 85 access attempts in the last 7 days.